Dear Jay
by bubblingwaters
Summary: Daisy's final words to Gatsby in her dying days.


Dear Jay Gatsby,

It's Daisy. I write this note from a hospital. I'm no longer young and beautiful as you had known me when you left. The cancer is terminal, and I don't really have much time left. I know you really won't ever receive this letter, but it doesn't really hurt to write this down, right? Well, that's at least what Nicky suggested I'd do. I don't really know if it'll help at this point, but I just think that since I have nothing to lose, I might as well.

Today is my 70th birthday. Many things have happened since you've left. The blacks, they finally are living among as equals, you know now? No such thing as a white and a colored bathroom now. Tom is still angry about that. I've had two more children with Tom, all have which inherited mine and his wealth. One's another beautiful girl, the other a boy. We decided to name the girl Virginia, and the boy Thomas James. My husband never did know your real name, now did he? Well, my ex-husband, now. Tom had left me years back, for a younger, prettier woman. I suppose I got too old for him. It didn't really surprise me. Even after I killed that vixen with your car, that never stopped him from being unfaithful. Now that he's left though, I feel like a big weight has been lifted off my back at last.

I wanted to say thank you for taking the blame, Jay. You always were trying to do everything you could to keep me happy. I'm sorry, Jay. I'm so sorry. I was terrible back then. I was selfish and snobbish, and even after you took the fall for me and died, I did not feel that much guilt. I ran away with Tom, as I had always done when there was a problem. I didn't even come to your funeral. But now I feel it. Now I know the trouble and pain I had caused you, and I am sorry.

Even though I deserved my life to be filled with misery and misfortune, that's not how it really turned out. I ended traveling the world with Tom, seeing all of Europe, Africa, and many islands in between. It was all stunningly beautiful. We met the President, too, he was a nice man. I continued to be tied down to Tom with treasures, diamonds, clothes, and other luxuries of the like. I did always liked to be spoiled, like a bratty princess. But with my skin wrinkled and my hair nearly gone, I don't really look much like a princess now do I?

I know what you would've said though if you were: "Daisy, you are as beautiful as you had always been." You always thought I looked my best, even at my worst, Jay. I don't know why you saw so much in me. Surely you knew how awful of a person I was back then? But yet you're not the type to just go after any pretty girl. You loved me, Jay, and you were one of the only ones who have ever truly did.

Remember when we first met, at the party? You walked up to me, I was already a little tipsy, wasn't I? Those corny lines you recited to me, with your tacky suit you had on. You were trying to impress me weren't you, but you made me laugh instead! But it still worked didn't it? Your awkward charm had caught me, and then we just let time slip by us. The long drives we took, the nights we spent, that was the time. The summers were the best though. The parties we went too, all the liquor we drank and all the sheets we shared, we sparkled like the city lights of New York. Those were the happiest times of my life. It wasn't about the amount of money that was spent, it was the time I stayed with you that really mattered. I wanted to marry you, I really did. I thought you would never return. If it were you that had been in my situation, I knew you would have waited for me. You were always so patient, always waiting for me. I couldn't give a damn how many years you spent waiting. All that mattered was what was I wanted at that very moment. Money does that to you. It makes you selfish, and gives you an escape to whatever troubles you were facing. It keeps you in this fantasy world, that involves yourself and only you. Well, not to you, but to most of us. You used all your money on me. Your money wasn't for you, nor the needy, nor any kind of savings. It was for me. Everything you did was for me.

Why couldn't I see it before? Why couldn't I just have opened my eyes and have seen the truth. I'm sure everyone but me saw it, Tom, Jordan, Nick. Sure, you loved parties, but those were never for you. They were for me, a way to get my attention. How much money did you drain on parties alone, you crazed dog? What silliness. Why could I just have seen? You put on such a grand performance, Jay, even to the end.

I'm sorry, Jay. I'm so sorry. I've said it once, and I'll say it a thousand times more. I'm sorry. No matter how many times I say it, it will make up for the things I've done, for the suffering I've caused you, but this is is the least I could do, apologize and hopefully you could hear me me up there in Heaven.

I wonder; if you're really looking down on me from Heaven, if you were alive now, with me here, would you still be willing to do anything for me? Would you still stay even if I'm old and frail? Even when I have nothing but a broken heart and a hag's memories? Would you still love even now, after all this time?

I know you would.

Even though I'm a sinner, I still hope that our Father will let me rest up there in Heaven with you, so I could say these words to you. They were something I've been meaning to say for a while now. When the times come, I hope those gates will open to me, so I can finally once again see your bright eyes and that smile that always made me feel like I was in a dream. I hope I can see you again, so I can tell you time and time again what I was suppose to realize a long, long time ago.

I love you, Jay. Thank you, so much.

-Daisy


End file.
